For many years, I lived my life trying to emotionally “separate” myself from certain family members. When I’d think of them, I’d say to myself, “Ya know, I didn’t *choose* for them to be in my life… But I did *choose* my friends. So, I am going to go hang with them – I’m out!”

That thought was a door that I would walk through whenever family members would do something that ticked me off. I’d say, “I didn’t choose y’all – I’m out!” It was a seed that took root and grew into a hedge that separated me from the painful emotional lessons that came with some family members. That phrase, “I didn’t choose them” was very powerful.

So what happened? And how does this relate to Thanksgiving?

The other day, I was faced with whether or not I should spend this “last” Thanksgiving with certain family members… and I answered in my very practiced phrase, “Nah…. I didn’t choose them.” And God answered, “But I did.”

I was floored!

Yep… no matter what you think of your family… each person is connected to you through your creator. Whatever you are to learn – be it patience, kindness, forgiveness – maybe that lesson can only be taught through a face that resembles your own, or a voice that sounds like your mother’s voice. For some of life’s lessons, maybe you could only be reached through eyes that are a genetic match to the very eyes you use every day.

The lesson I take away is that God chose these connections. So, whatever the connection, there is perfection in it. If my connection includes grief or conflict, I need to look for the perfection, and then remove the rest as confusion.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my family. And I am ready to learn the lessons that only THEY can teach me.

I didn’t choose them…. God did.
Happy Thanksgiving!