Debut of a Hidden Talent

I recently fell in love with a song and decided to buy the performance track.

Waiting for it to arrive, I sang to the original recording over and over. I tried to make it my own with little vocal inflections here and holding the note out longer, there.

In an effort of full disclosure, I must tell you that due to a little bit of modesty, my husband has never really heard my *performance* voice. You know, the voice you bust out in the car, or while you’re vacuuming. The voice that you know would get you a recording contract if that was really something you wanted. But since you don’t want your life uprooted, you hold that voice in. You save it, tucked away. A little secret that reminds you of the sacrifice you are making for the chosen normalcy of your life with family and friends. I made that personal choice long ago. But this song was too good. And with the purchase of the performance track, I was finally ready to let my husband know what I gave up for a life with him and the kids.

I practiced the song in private. That way, I could surprise my husband with a special performance… a debut of this hidden talent. I wanted the roll out to be spectacular!

I don’t know about you, but I found that my voice performs best in the shower. It could be the steam lubricating my vocal cords or the slight echo to both the higher and lower registers created from the tile walls. Whatever it is, after a week of practice, I was more than ready to *KILL* the song when the performance track was finally delivered.

The anticipation ended today with the “ding-dong” of our doorbell. The performance track was here, and the excitement was almost too much to handle. I could hardly feel my legs beneath my body as I ran to take the box from the delivery man. He could see the expectancy on my face when I grabbed the treasure from his hands. I had to stop myself from inviting him in to share in the big reveal.

Staring down at the track, questions were reeling inside of my head. Do I want to change my clothes first? Should I wait until tonight? No, I can’t hold it in any longer. This has to happen now. So, I put the CD into the player to queue up the track and I pressed play.

As the intro began, I thought, maybe I should run through it just one time as a “warm-up”. The first verse chords played and I opened my mouth to unleash the stifled genius.

I started to sing, making mental notes of minor adjustments I’d need to make in order to really secure the sound I wanted to share. The second verse was even better. “Yes!” I thought. This is going to be everything I dreamed it would be. My husband is going to love it, and love me. He’s going to say that he needs to quit his job and become my producer. He’ll want to support my gift and sacrifice everything for it.

I’ll tell him, “That’s not necessary, my love.” Because I don’t want that life. I want to be a homemaker. I’m not looking for any glitz and glamour. He will look at me with eyes of admiration at my most honorable decision.

I finished the song with a killer high note, and then walked downstairs to get my husband.

Our eyes met and I said, “Honey, I want you to come upstairs and hear something.”

“I already heard it,” he said. “What was that?! Were you watching a youtube video of ‘American Idol Rejects’ or something? Send me that link… I was rollin’ down here.”

Getting Rid of My Purse

I want to have my arms and hands, free.

I was thinking I need to stop carrying a purse.

So, I started looking at other options like this:

messages-image3332266879

or this

messages-image1182957459

I even thought maybe I would go “Zombie Apocalypse” with this one

messages-image4100349003

or this one

messages-image4147416509

Then, I started thinking… With two kids, I have a lot more to carry.

So, I moved to this:

messages-image219341705

But, my necessities still didn’t fit.

In the end, right before I ordered this:

messages-image3837129762

I decided to go back to my purse.

Grow Up Carole!

Have you ever said something and thought, “Wow! That was my mom coming out!” Sure you have. We can admit that pretty easily. But what about the times when you open your mouth and your 16-year-old self makes an appearance? Or even your 12 year-old-self? Or that bratty 2-year-old self throws a temper tantrum all up in the conversation? Yeah… that happened to me today. My 16yo Carole presented herself; but this time I said, “Not today, girlfriend!” and I nipped her in the bud.

What’s funny is that, I like 16yo Carole. She’s kind of cool, actually. She’s spunky; she’s a bit of a smart-ass; she’s witty; and she’s not burdened with caring about your feelings… because 16yo Carole is right (about everything) and you’re wrong! End of story.

Yeah, I am practiced at being 16. I can be 16 all day. I might even go so far as to say that I was so good at 16, that I chose to be 16 for my 17th year, most of my 18th year, and part of my 23rd year!

But this is what I learned… 16yo Carole had her time. She did it. Now she can retire and watch… and learn about being… yes, older and wiser. Today is not her day…. 16yo Carole is “played out!”

I realized (finally) that just because I am good at being 16yo Carole, and just because all of her 16yo responses to life’s circumstance are “comfortable” to choose, it doesn’t mean I should let her run the show. And if I keep letting her speak, in her 16yo voice… I could end up being her forever! Nobody wants that – ’cause seriously, that girl is cray-cray for real!  So she needs to sit her 16yo butt on down and let the grown folks talk! (SMMH=Shaking My Mature Head.:))