Claiming Our Collective Closure

When local tragedies make national news, we should at least try to learn a lesson from them. Too often, I find myself getting worked up about a publicized tragic event. Then, when the media moves on to the next tragedy, I just follow along without any closure on the last one. I don’t think that’s emotionally healthy for me… or anyone else, for that matter. Maybe you agree.

Consider the Trayvon Martin case back in 2013. What was your takeaway lesson from that local, tragic event made widespread national news? Have you ever thought, ”What if Martin had continued on home instead of turning around to confront Zimmerman?“

Nine years ago, I guess I was trying to find a positive lesson from this story to pass on to my son. This is what I posted on FB:

… Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, a 17-year-old boy runs inside his father’s house saying, “Dad, I don’t like your neighborhood. Some creepy dude followed me all the way home!”
At the same time, on a call into 911, a man is recorded saying, “Whoa… well, he just went into a house. He must live there… my bad! Sorry about that, I got ahead of myself. Cancel my call.”
Followed by the voice of a nameless dispatcher saying, “Ok sir… you have a nice day.” (click)

Based on what I wrote back then, my hope was that if my underaged son was ever mistaken for a burglar by an overzealous neighborhood watchman, he would choose to come straight home, or even call 911 himself. Anything but confront the grown man alone.

The media used this case to push the idea that white men were hunting down black boys on neighborhood streets. Do you remember how even the President even got involved with that narrative? Years later, the division that came from this media push has never been mended. But the truth is that Martin wasn’t being hunted by Zimmerman. More, if Martin had continued on home to his father’s house, he’d be alive today.

Maybe, after these tragic national events, we should actually take the time to engage in a post-event analysis; and if we are honest with one another, maybe our society can reach a point of collective emotional closure with each one. Wouldn’t that be better for all of us?

I Heard God’s Voice!

Journal Entry: 1-26-21

I heard God’s voice this morning!
I haven’t heard Him in a while. He has answered so many prayers recently, but to hear his voice is something so special! And what He said was so personalized, I’m just… I’m overwhelmed right now!

So… it was around 2 am and I was making my trip to the bathroom. I had a pop song in my head, and that always makes me mad because I’d rather my subconscious is singing something spiritual when I’m half-asleep. As I sat down to mind my business, I scolded myself, “Carole, why are you singing nonsense again? Get your mind right! Think of a spiritual song.” But nothing was coming to mind, so I began to pray. 

“Lord, help me to remain focused on you…” Then, my prayer was interrupted by the thought that I am praying to God while sitting on the pot. 
That’s an insult! 

Thoughts started flooding in… But, I pray a lot while in this room. Does that mean I’m insulting God every time that I pray in here? I never want to insult the Lord! Oh boy, what if I’ve been insulting God all this time and I didn’t know it… but should have known it?  
These thoughts were overpowering, and I knew I had to ask Him. 
I hesitated, at the weight of what this could mean. Then, ever so slowly… I spiritually approached the throne. 

“Father, Lord… Jesus… Creator of all things big and small…” (I didn’t want to mess up His title in any way.) 
“… I have a question…” (How do I say it? I mean, He’s God, and I’m… well, me.)
I took a breath and tried to muster up the reverence due and I asked, 

“Do you get offended when I pray in the b-“
“NO!” 

Wait! Did God just interrupt my question with the answer, like a Batman and Robin meme?
(I was afraid to breathe.) 

But then a warm feeling and uncontrollable laughter came over me! 
He did! He did! He answered my question AND He made me laugh! 
It was personal! It was specific!
It was for me!

I ran in and woke Chris up to tell him the exciting news that I just heard God’s voice!
“Chris, God interrupted me halfway through my sentence and said, ‘NO!'”
Chris interjected, “Wait! Did God just ‘Batman and Robin’ you?”
Yes, He did! He did!

So, I made the attached meme so that I’ll never forget what happened today! 
God knows me… and He loves me.
Oh, how I love Jesus!

Hypothetically Happily Homeschooling

The writing assignment asked for specific nouns in place of generic nouns. 

In place of “dog”, she put “husky”. In place of “celebrity”, she put “Whitney Houston”.

She did this in silence until something broke her rhythm causing her to speak up to clarify that her specific nouns are not necessarily nouns that she likes. I responded, “Ok, why are you telling me this?”

“Because I am going to put ‘broccoli’ in place of ‘vegetable’ and I don’t want you to think that I like broccoli. I don’t.”

Nodding my head in understanding I half-answered back, “Ok… carry on, my dear.”

She began to write then immediately stopped. “Wait! Is it broccol-E or broccol-i?” 

She was working out the spelling.

“Broccol-i” I answered, with the emphasis on the “i”. 

She offered her thanks and began to write again.

A few seconds later, Connor interrupted from the other side of the table. Without even looking up he stated, “Cayden, it ends with just an “i” not an “ie” to make that long “i” sound.” 

Feeling like I missed something and somehow failed her as a teacher I directed my defense at him, “She knows that. She knows that it ends with an ‘’i’.” 

He continued to look at his work and answered steadily, “Are you sure about that, Mom?”

I glanced over to see her erasing her work.

“You knew that, right Cayden? Tell me you didn’t spell it with an “ie” at the end?”

“I didn’t mom. Don’t worry.” she smiled and began to write again.

Whew! I thought to myself. See! I knew I didn’t miss anything.

Connor still thought he knew better. “Then how did you end the word, Cayden?” he remarked, with a casual glance in her direction.

“I ended it with and “i-y”, but I erased the “y”, so we’re good.”

I could feel his eyes move over to capture my reaction, but I chose to pretend that I didn’t hear the exchange.

He sighed and went back to his work knowing the truth, as I causally added “broccoli” to the weekly spelling list.

Oh, the many joys of homeschooling.

Shame on YOU, younger Carole!

Ten years ago – prior to kids – Chris and I regularly frequented the movie theater as our way to “let go”.
We wanted children so badly, we used to see other parents, point and say things like, “When we have kids, we’re going to do WAY better than that one… and that one… and FOR SURE that one!”
(Yes, I know it was wrong, but that’s emotionally where we were at the time.)

To continue… my biggest frustration was with parents who would bring underaged children to (R) rated movies. For the record… I still think there’s no excuse for that. It’s poor parenting. The difference is that NOW, I keep that conclusion to myself and say a quick prayer for the parents. But back then, I printed these cards off and handed them out to the poor-parental-perpetrators. (I thought I was really doing something for the cause!) I wish I could go back and hug my younger self and tell her to just focus on being who God called HER to be. Carole, Carole, Carole….. smh….

Now seriously… What would you have done had a strange woman with no kids handed you this card at a movie theater?IMG_9474.JPG.jpeg

Try Brainstorming

Connor was trying to pick a lock on his toy box. His frustration was growing after bending several paper clips and pieces of wire with many different tools without any success.

So, I offered a suggestion. “Why don’t you stop and brainstorm a bit. Try to think of other ways, other tools to use to get into that box.”

He sat with that thought for a while, then he said, “I’ve got it! No…. that won’t work.”

Curiously, I asked, “What won’t work?”

He answered, “My last idea. I know it’s not going to work out.”

Slouching his shoulders, he said, “I have to come up with something else.”

He was so frustrated… but worse, he was deflated.
So, I tried to bolster his creative spirit!

“Connor, if you thought of something, you should try it out. That’s the thing about brainstorming. It’s a brain technique that allows for you to free your imagination. But you should never just dismiss an idea without even trying it.”

“Never?” He asked.

“Never! Connor, you’re brainstorming. Any idea could be THE ONE that will solve the whole problem!”

“Even an idea that involves an active volcano?”

(Journal: 1/5/16)

Education Is the Key

…and now…. another episode of:
“EDUCATING CONNOR”

While trying to teach Proper Sentence Structure…

Connor: Mom, don’t you think cheese was actually invented by mice? I mean, a person invents things that they like or need. But yeah… a mouse is not a person. So, I guess you have a point. Hey Mom! I think if someone is scared to speak in front of a crowd, they can just tape themselves beforehand and then walk up to the stage and press “play”. Of course, they’d have to move their lips, or everyone would know. MOM! This Thursday is Turkey-day, right? No, no, it’s Thanksgiving Day, I forgot. Oh Mom! Isn’t that funny? I said, “Turkey Day” instead of “Thanksgiving Day”. Maybe we should re-name Thursday to “Turkey-day”. But, you’re right, then we’d have to pick a different day to be Thanksgiving Day, because we have to give thanks. That’s important. Mom! Did you know it’s 10:19 AM. I can just look at my watch and see the time any time I want to. Watches are cool. MOM! Who invented the watch?

Me: Dude! You are killing me with all this!

Connor: Nevermind, mom. (To himself) She probably doesn’t even know.

Me: Dude!

Debut of a Hidden Talent

I recently fell in love with a song and decided to buy the performance track.

Waiting for it to arrive, I sang to the original recording over and over. I tried to make it my own with little vocal inflections here and holding the note out longer, there.

In an effort of full disclosure, I must tell you that due to a little bit of modesty, my husband has never really heard my *performance* voice. You know, the voice you bust out in the car, or while you’re vacuuming. The voice that you know would get you a recording contract if that was really something you wanted. But since you don’t want your life uprooted, you hold that voice in. You save it, tucked away. A little secret that reminds you of the sacrifice you are making for the chosen normalcy of your life with family and friends. I made that personal choice long ago. But this song was too good. And with the purchase of the performance track, I was finally ready to let my husband know what I gave up for a life with him and the kids.

I practiced the song in private. That way, I could surprise my husband with a special performance… a debut of this hidden talent. I wanted the roll out to be spectacular!

I don’t know about you, but I found that my voice performs best in the shower. It could be the steam lubricating my vocal cords or the slight echo to both the higher and lower registers created from the tile walls. Whatever it is, after a week of practice, I was more than ready to *KILL* the song when the performance track was finally delivered.

The anticipation ended today with the “ding-dong” of our doorbell. The performance track was here, and the excitement was almost too much to handle. I could hardly feel my legs beneath my body as I ran to take the box from the delivery man. He could see the expectancy on my face when I grabbed the treasure from his hands. I had to stop myself from inviting him in to share in the big reveal.

Staring down at the track, questions were reeling inside of my head. Do I want to change my clothes first? Should I wait until tonight? No, I can’t hold it in any longer. This has to happen now. So, I put the CD into the player to queue up the track and I pressed play.

As the intro began, I thought, maybe I should run through it just one time as a “warm-up”. The first verse chords played and I opened my mouth to unleash the stifled genius.

I started to sing, making mental notes of minor adjustments I’d need to make in order to really secure the sound I wanted to share. The second verse was even better. “Yes!” I thought. This is going to be everything I dreamed it would be. My husband is going to love it, and love me. He’s going to say that he needs to quit his job and become my producer. He’ll want to support my gift and sacrifice everything for it.

I’ll tell him, “That’s not necessary, my love.” Because I don’t want that life. I want to be a homemaker. I’m not looking for any glitz and glamour. He will look at me with eyes of admiration at my most honorable decision.

I finished the song with a killer high note, and then walked downstairs to get my husband.

Our eyes met and I said, “Honey, I want you to come upstairs and hear something.”

“I already heard it,” he said. “What was that?! Were you watching a youtube video of ‘American Idol Rejects’ or something? Send me that link… I was rollin’ down here.”

No Backup Plan

One of my favorite worship songs is by Hillsong called “Oceans: Where Feet May Fail”.

It’s a beautiful song influenced by the Biblical account in Matthew 14:22-33 where Peter was called out onto the water to walk with Jesus, but he quickly became distracted by the storm.

Imagine that. He was walking on water, defying all that he knows to be true of his experience thus far on this planet. Clearly, his natural mind trusted in Christ enough to make room for this water walking experience. Yet his faith was stretched beyond what he could comprehend when he began to focus on the storm. A storm that was restrained by the very laws he was transcending through the power of Christ.

It’s as though he thought, “God is making it possible for me to walk on this water, but He can’t prevent the storm from overpowering me. *That’s* too much for Him.”

At this point, Peter’s faith wobbles a bit, and he begins to sink into the water. But Peter knows who holds the power to save him, and he calls out to God for help.
Verse 31 reads, “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’”

It’s such a big lesson for us. A lesson we need to remember.
Don’t doubt. Trust in Him, no matter what.

The other day, we were listening to the “Oceans” song together over breakfast, when my children asked to hear of Peter’s experience once again. I started to share it, but I remembered that they have already heard this account many times; so in the midst of the message, I began looking for another angle – another lesson within the original experience.

We had reached a part of the song that says,
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”

I decided to pause, and ask them a question:
“What if you guys were Peter? How would you walk on the water?”
They smiled as the picture began to form in their minds.
My 4yo daughter spoke first, “What do you mean ‘how’?”

I got up to demonstrate, “I mean, would you walk gingerly on the water, looking down into the sea at all of the fish below your feet? Would you run out there, leaping and jumping in the excitement of it all? Would you tap dance or do the Moonwalk?” I was acting out all of the possibilities, as my daughter jumped down from the table to show me her ideas.

“Mom! I would do ballerina twirls and karate kicks all over the top of that water!”
Losing my mind in the moment, I said, “What about The Robot! Wouldn’t it be cool to do The Robot on the water?”
We both broke out with The Robot and then went back to twirling around the kitchen floor.

That’s when my 6yo son, who was deep in thought up until this point, scooted to the edge of his chair and said,
“If I were Peter, I would jump out of the boat…”
He jumped off of the chair and slowly lifted his foot.
“Then, I would take a step out towards Jesus.”
He took a step and then he stopped fast!
“No! Wait… wait… wait! The very first thing I would do is turn around and destroy the boat!”

In mid-twirl, both Cayden and I stopped and turned to him in complete confusion.
He had begun bashing the imaginary boat with his imaginary sledgehammer.

“Now why would you destroy the boat?” I asked.

Without even a pause, he answered, “I’m destroying this boat so that I have no choice but to run to God!”

There it was. The new lesson in the Biblical account.
As long as there is a boat, there is a choice to turn around, a backup plan… a “just in case God isn’t enough”.
But consider the faith it takes to make the choice to trust in God so much that you choose to destroy the boat.
You remove the temptation to trust in anything other than Him.
No back up… just God. And THEN you walk (and dance) in your faith with Jesus.
Wow!

What is your “boat”?
What is it in your life that you are using as a backup plan – as a fail safe?
What is preventing you from trusting *The* Creator as your only safety net?

He called you out upon the water.
Trust that HE has you, no matter what.
Walk in your faith.
Destroy the boat!

UPDATE!

This happening has been such a beautiful blessing to so many people. “Destroy the Boat” has become a slogan and a spiritual focus within our circle. We are constantly looking for different ways to remind each other to rely solely on the Lord, in all things.

So we thought, “Why not wear it on a t-shirt?”

We pray that when you wear your t-shirt, a seeking heart will ask you to explain what it means to “Destroy the Boat”.  Many ears have heard the Biblical account of Peter walking on water. Maybe, Connor’s 7yo perspective will give you a new opportunity to share God’s everlasting love with someone who desperately needs His comfort.

All Glory and Honor to our Heavenly Father.
~The Pearson Family

*** “Destroy the Boat” t-shirts ***

Getting Rid of My Purse

I want to have my arms and hands, free.

I was thinking I need to stop carrying a purse.

So, I started looking at other options like this:

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or this

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I even thought maybe I would go “Zombie Apocalypse” with this one

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or this one

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Then, I started thinking… With two kids, I have a lot more to carry.

So, I moved to this:

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But, my necessities still didn’t fit.

In the end, right before I ordered this:

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I decided to go back to my purse.